Good morning readers…
This morning, browsing through my facebook news feed, I stumbled across an article about HAPPINESS; “12 things happy people do differently”. I smiled while reading it, being myself a “preacher” of happiness and was agreeing to all points.
Then i started thinking…If it was that simple to be happy, why are many people so unhappy? why can’t they “just” do the 12 things and get on with their lives? why is it so hard?
The article talks about forgiveness; when you forgive the ones who have hurt you, you set yourself free, you detach yourself from the past, you move on, you accept what has happened and DECIDE that it will not affect you anymore.. True.. i did that with my ex-boyfriend many years ago. I had to.. the relationship was eating me up and the only way i could move on was to forgive him (will not go into details, but you can figure out what ex-boyfriends might have been up to!!). It took me a long while to forgive.. i kept repeating in my head that i wished him well. that i wished him a good life (far from me).. that i was going to be ok… eventually, after few months of repeating the thoughts i felt better. I was less sad, less angry, less miserable…
Bottom line; forgiving someone is crucial to move on and to let happiness crawl into your mind. But forgiveness does not come by itself. It is a conscious, tedious, long term, hard working exercise. It is not a zapping process. An in our times of zapping to the next, where time is loosing its true value (lets admit that we all want fast and easy recipes for happiness and success), well, forgiveness might not be on top of our to do list.
Having a good social network is also part of the equation. Of course, being alone and lonely can only add to our misery! but having too many facebook friends is not the answer. Having one or two people in your life that actually care, call, ask about you, make you laugh, hear you when you are nagging, help you move on, this is what a good social relation is about. Again, it takes time to develop such a strong and meaningful bond between two people.
Gratitude: i do believe that saying thank you many times a day (to all the good stuff we have) is relatively easy way of keeping your mind happy. By acknowledging that you do have something positive in your day, you are already fighting the negative and making it less dominant in your mind. Thus happy serotonin kicks in. Also being kind to people, giving compliment, helping an old lady cross the street, give your seat to an older in the bus, letting a car pass in front of you, all lead to more serotonin in the brain, thus happy wings!
Happiness is not something you can buy (ok, getting that beautiful red dress might make you happy, for a moment), or something that you acquire for lifetime. It is hard work. It is a daily, conscious effort towards being less selfish, more forgiving, more kind, more cool, less pretentious, more grateful. It is about including these values into your days, your dreams, your thoughts, your being.
Now, go and make someone happy.. 🙂