Susan Sontag, American essayist, literary icon, and political activist once wrote about parenting:
- Be consistent.
- Don’t speak about him to others (e.g., tell funny things) in his presence. (Don’t make him self-conscious.)
- Don’t praise him for something I wouldn’t always accept as good.
- Don’t reprimand him harshly for something he’s been allowed to do.
- Daily routine: eating, homework, bath, teeth, room, story, bed.
- Don’t allow him to monopolize me when I am with other people.
- Always speak well of his pop. (No faces, sighs, impatience, etc.)
- Do not discourage childish fantasies.
- Make him aware that there is a grown-up world that’s none of his business.
- Don’t assume that what I don’t like to do (bath, hair-wash) he won’t like either.
Maybe these rules are old-fashioned (they were written in 1959!), but having two kids my self, i do relate to most of them and find CONSISTENCY being one of the most important part! It is however hard to be consistent ALL the time… When we are tired and do not have the energy to say No or to argue or to negotiate, then we forget the rules and give our kids a totally different approach, which might very well make them happy for a second, but will not be of great value in the long run.
I am not the most consistent person on earth (my husband and parent will nod to this!), but i DO get it. I know it just requires some FOCUS, and the rest is history.
So, whatever rule or parenting strategy you choose, Remember that being consistent will give fruits and will give the child what it needs the most in its first years; a stable, harmonious, and safe environment.
With this quote, i leave you to decide what the Main thing is!!