what would you want to pass on to your kids?

Facebook has loads of pages filling you with even more loads of quotes and personal development tools… Some on them are quite interesting and sometimes challenging.

Today I read this question from this page :

what would you want to pass on to your kids?

200 answers so far, mostly about Love & Respect.

Very simple answers but in my opinion also vague and not concrete.

Love is necessary and  important to LIVE, but what does it mean, and how does it work? Off course we love our children and we want them to love us in return (which they automatically do until the age of 12!). And I am sure that they will go through a sea of experiences where LOVE is the common thread and where they will learn what it means and what it carries.

Surely Respect is also a nearly forgotten value that needs to be re-integrated in the vocabulary of the next generation (and by this i mean respect of HUMANS, of NATURE, of ANIMALS, of ONE SELF).

But don’t we want our kids to learn how to be happy? and teach them what happiness is? that happiness can be a flickering moment that almost evaporates when you try to hold on to it? that happiness is free of negative emotions and resembles new snow in a forest? that happiness is created through personal work, through forgiveness and kindness?

Happiness has many doors and many roads.. One of them is the ability of Forgiving and forgetting. My experience is that once we achieve those two often related notions, freedom and happiness is permitted to enter. How can one be happy if he has grudges, if his mind is filled with bad memories, if he feels like the world is against him?

what I want to transmit to my kids is this: the love and appreciation of a sunset, the warmness of a hug, the ability to tell the truth and not to be afraid of it, the capability of saying Sorry and I forgive you, the strength to move on despite hardship and sorrow, the positive attitude to Life and its greatness… and many more… hope i will have time to give them all of it…

What would you like to pass on?

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happiness is hard work…

Good morning readers…

This morning, browsing through my facebook news feed, I stumbled across an article about HAPPINESS; “12 things happy people do differently”. I smiled while reading it, being myself a “preacher” of happiness and was agreeing to all points.

Then i started thinking…If it was that simple to be happy, why are many people so unhappy? why can’t they “just” do the 12 things and get on with their lives? why is it so hard?

The article talks about forgiveness; when you forgive the ones who have hurt you, you set yourself free, you detach yourself from the past, you move on, you accept what has happened and DECIDE that it will not affect you anymore.. True.. i did that with my ex-boyfriend many years ago. I had to.. the relationship was eating me up and the only way i could move on was to forgive him (will not go into details, but you can figure out what ex-boyfriends might have been up to!!). It took me a long while to forgive.. i kept repeating in my head that i wished him well. that i wished him a good life (far from me).. that i was going to be ok… eventually, after few months of repeating the thoughts i felt better. I was less sad, less angry, less miserable…

Bottom line; forgiving someone is crucial to move on and to let happiness crawl into your mind. But forgiveness does not come by itself. It is a conscious, tedious, long term, hard working exercise. It is not a zapping process. An in our times of zapping to the next, where time is loosing its true value (lets admit that we all want fast and easy recipes for happiness and success), well,  forgiveness might not be on top of our to do list.

Having a good social network is also part of the equation. Of course, being alone and lonely can only add to our misery! but having too many facebook friends is not the answer. Having one or two people in your life that actually care, call, ask about you, make you laugh, hear you when you are nagging, help you move on, this is what a good social relation is about. Again, it takes time to develop such a strong and meaningful bond between two people.

Gratitude: i do believe that saying thank you many times a day (to all the good stuff we have) is relatively easy way of keeping your mind happy. By acknowledging that you do have something positive in your day, you are already fighting the negative and making it less dominant in your mind. Thus happy serotonin kicks in. Also being kind to people, giving compliment, helping an old lady cross the street, give your seat to an older in the bus, letting a car pass in front of you, all lead to more serotonin in the brain, thus happy wings!

Happiness is not something you can buy (ok, getting that beautiful red dress might make you happy, for a moment), or something that you acquire for lifetime. It is hard work. It is a daily, conscious effort towards being less selfish, more forgiving, more kind, more cool, less pretentious, more grateful. It is about including these values into your days, your dreams, your thoughts, your being.

Now, go and make someone happy.. 🙂

{happiness} is watching a child play

step to happiness {5 thank u}

Happiness is homemade, is about forgiveness, about letting go, about moving forward, about simplicity.

And happiness can also be “created” by a simple tool, that I have tried myself for the last few weeks.

It is about saying thank you. About being appreciative.

About seeing what we have and realizing that we have it and being happy that we have it.

I read somewhere that saying 5 thanks a day could make you happy.

If it does not make you the happiest person, it certainly helps you in the right direction and opens up a positive approach to everyday life.

This morning I said thank you to my soft and warm bed.

I said thank you to hearing kids giggling  in the next room.

I said thank you that it was Sunday and that we didn’t have to rush out of the house.

I said thank you for not having caught the flu this season.

I said thank you because my husband is an adorable person…

What are you thankful for?

Step 25 to happ(y)ness

This morning I asked my kids what is happiness for them, here are the answers:

Sara: Happiness is when i can eat as much chocolate that i want!

Geo: Happiness is if I can see the 7 movies of Harry Potter in a row!

The funny part of their answer is that it relates to something they actually are forbidden to do (at least to the extent of their wishes). We love chocolate in our family, and do eat a lot of it, but it is strangely not enough for my little girl!

We are currently reading the books of Harry Potter and I have decided that they can watch the movie only after reading the book. We have read and seen the first one, and we need to read 100 pages to finalise the second one! That means that we are going to watch the movie in a week or so!

I remember that one of my biggest wishes when I was a kid (to fulfill happiness) was that I could eat as much ice-cream as I wanted when I grew up! My mother used to be strict about our eating habits;  sweets & ice-cream where a special treat, not part of our normal routine.

Bottom line: sometimes we think that happiness is linked to something we do not have, or can’t have. But is it? Will we be happy once we get that thing? or will we start wishing for something new ?

Time to teach the kids few things about happiness, while eating chocolate and watching Harry Potter movie!!! 🙂

step 22 to happ(y)ness

One of the greatest things in life is to be able to say: I have lived.

And that entitles a life where you have loved, cried, laughed, jumped into the unkown, tried something new, learned a lot, lost, suffered, angered, disappointed your nearest, made them proud, broke the rules…

Life teaches you what love is, what sorrow is, what poor means, what rich means, what humbleness means, what war and peace means.

You learn every day. And you also learn that you are very tiny, fragile yet strong, loving yet scared, courageous yet afraid.

Life must be lived to the fullest; we owe it to life.